I think the reality of my surgery finally hit me today. For almost two years I have been saying that I will be getting jaw surgery, but sometime in the future because the date of that surgery wasn't set so it didn't feel real. This whole month has been flying by and I don't feel as prepared as I should be; that is one of the reasons that I'm starting to get anxious.
When I started my current job in mid-November I told my families that I won't be able to do any home visits during the month of March due to my surgery, but now that we've had time to get to know each other and get used to seeing each other every week, it's hard to imagine not seeing them for 5 weeks. I work with kids under age 3 and they grow so fast, I feel like I'm going to be missing out on so much. My previous job was just a desk job as a program assistant for the same agency, but back then I would have loved to have that much time off.
Even just writing this post and thinking about all the
unknown that comes with this surgery is getting to me and I'm not an
emotional person....well I don't like to be anyways. Today I had this
urge to just run away and not think about it. With my surgery being so
close it's all I think about and I need a break from it. Whenever I'm
stressed I find myself driving around. I went to a couple stores trying
to find a freakin' squeeze bottle to help me drink water and slippers
for my surgery and finally I found them. I took more then a few stores,
but I found some.
After all that shopping I ended up at
the beach. I live in a very rural area of Northern California where we
have many, many redwood trees, plenty of beaches and rivers. Nature
calms me. It was a windy day at the beach. It was exactly what I needed.
The roads are windy that are fun to drive and it was actually sunny. This week is going to fly by and I leave Saturday morning to head to Washington and won't be coming home until Thursday. Not being home during the first part of my recovery will be an interesting twist, I hope I can do it.
Well, until next time. Below are some pictures from today.